Striking a Balance
Am I doing too much? Am I doing too little? Am I too skinny? Am I too fat? Am I spending too much time with her? Do I need to give her space? Sure, I’ll just have one more, what harm will it do.
These are but some of the many conversations people have in their heads in the never ending quest for balance. It is something that shows up in all areas of our life and in truth it should run across all of them in unison. As life has become more demanding and fast paced balance is an issue I find more and more people are struggling with. We want to commit ourselves fully to everything and not say no to anything, but at what cost. Some of the many consequences include increased stress, anxiety, declining health, poor relationships as well as massive dips in performance and effectiveness. Not exactly the kind of panacea for happiness.
The truth of the matter is this. If you are going to pour your heart and soul into something then you are going to have to make sacrifices elsewhere. That is just how it is and ignoring it won’t make it better. Now certain things require you to tip the balance, such as starting a new business, doing an iron man, getting a college education or having kids. All hugely different but all come at the expense of other things. Starting my own business meant I had to forego a lot of social outings and quality time at home.
We can manage to live all consuming lives for a certain period of time and there are times we simply have no other choice. but it cannot be sustained in the long run. You simply cannot do 14 hour work days for the rest of your life without it having a huge impact on your health, relationships and stress levels. You might need to do this initially when getting your business off the ground, but it is not sustainable as a long term strategy.
We all live very different lives and face different challenges on a daily basis. You need to pause, take a step back and see if you are stuck in the hamster wheel and going nowhere fast. The simple obstacles of daily life can easily tip you over the edge when you are in this state as you don’t have the energy or resources to cope. This is where many people use alcohol, food, cigarettes or other forms of medication in an attempt to return to an even keel. Balance! As with doing too much the same applies with doing too little. Are you doing enough exercise, taking timeout for yourself, do you have a balanced diet or drink enough water? You need to figure out how to find a middle ground.
Asking yourself 2 very simple questions will help you with this;
– Am I moving closer to, or further away from achieving balance in all areas of my life?
– What would a perfectly balanced life look like for me? (if you don’t know you can’t achieve it)
We all have 6 basic human needs to achieve happiness and balance in our lives. The dial is constantly moving back and forth between these and what we do to achieve them.
Certainty v Variety
Significance v Connection/Love
Growth v Contribution
If finding the balance is proving difficult for you right now then call or drop me a mail;
Ciao for now, John
john@johnmcnamara.ie Tel; 0863919952